Near-death experience... NOT.

You know your driving is really questionable when your YOUNGER sister texts you saying: "Drive slowly wen u come2 fetch me", and your mum says: "Oh, thank God!" repeatedly, when you call her and tell her you've arrived home safely with your sister in one piece.

Promise of a Lifetime

"Would You help me fall apart?" 

A Dream.

I want to live near the beach.

"Nothing is more deceitful than the appearance of humility. It is often only carelessness of opinion, and sometimes indirect boast."
-Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice.

Suffocated

As I went through my birthday (which felt like it lasted for at least 4 days), besides the wishes that kept flowing in, I realized there were more personal texts and messages this year rather than Facebook postings, and cards with meaningful messages. Okay, perhaps I am a words person, maybe it ranks second?

There were cakes and hangouts even before my birthday and I cannot stop reminiscing. So I think quality time still takes the top spot for my love language. 

What surprised me was the gifts. A package came on my birthday and I could not stop smiling the whole day eventhough I was sick. Gifts came one by one till today, and all the efforts taken just to make me feel loved. 

Which makes me wonder what have I done to deserve all this?  I'm so overwhelmed I feel suffocated. And suddenly I remembered my prayer request: 

"Before teaching me how to love, can You please convince me that You truly love me? That You accept me for who I am? Why am I not convinced yet? Your love is so unfathomable it blows my narrow, self-centered mind. Even when it's written all over the Bible. Remind me each and everyday of Your perfect love. Suffocate me with Your love. (In a good way, of course). Guide me towards Your path."   (Excerpt from journal, 8th December 2011.) 

Then I realized I did not do anything that deserved all this. I did not earn love. This is my God loving me unconditionally. 

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

I cannot comprehend how much I am loved.

...and yet I keep trying to earn it.

Loving others shouldn't be at your own convenience.