The Height of My Blurness

On a fine Thursday morning, I went to class at 10am thinking my exam is at 8pm later, just to find out from my classmates that it's actually at 12pm, which is less than two hours from the moment I found out. That one second of realization was a train of thoughts: "Oh. Must not panic. Why do I need to panic anyway? I studied yesterday. Oh THANK GOD I covered everything yesterday. Oh goodness why am I so blur. And I told almost everyone who cared to know that my exam is at 8pm -_-" 

This is not something I'm proud of. Although I'm not the most alert person in the room, this never happened to me. (Another not-so-proud achievement unlocked?) Trust me, I don't know how this sort of thing happens. Maybe that's the root of the problem. I need to be more aware. 

Anyway, things could've been alot worse though. I could've: a) not finish covering all the chapters, b) find out much later and miss my exam altogether. 

Thanking God for always covering for my near-ignorant self. 

Ha ha ha...ha ha...ha.. ha.

Sometimes I do stuff that is so embarrassing that I just wanna crawl into a hole and stay there. Forever.

Sadly, I can't really do that so my alternative is just to write here. No, I'm not actually gonna write what embarrassing thing I did. It's just that it's so frustrating I can't try to undo what I did because it'll make things even worse. So all I can do is just to act normal. And smack myself.

Near-death experience... NOT.

You know your driving is really questionable when your YOUNGER sister texts you saying: "Drive slowly wen u come2 fetch me", and your mum says: "Oh, thank God!" repeatedly, when you call her and tell her you've arrived home safely with your sister in one piece.

The Greener Grass

I don't know why I'm blogging at this hour (it's almost 1am, by the way) and I'm supposed to be finishing this scholarship application that is ending in 23 hours. There's this question asking me to 'state one accomplishment that you're proud of' and it's categorized under extra-curricular information for the last 3 years. It's been boggling my mind a little, probably because a)I think it's very subjective, or b)my extra-curriculum for the past 3 years sucks. The latter is the truth I think, and the first is probably just a pathetic excuse I made for myself. The thing is, I've practically dodged being active/responsibilities since Form 1 by jumping from society to society, club to club, until Form 4, when the importance of extra-curriculum started dawning on me a little too late.

I realized since then that I have the GENGA(Good at Everything, Not Great at Anything) disease. I'm one of those people that goes unnoticed during the activities, especially sports. I was good enough to not get picked on by teachers/commanders, but at the same time I didn't get selected to represent my sports house, not to mention representing my school (well there's that one time I substituted for my sports house in a 4x400m relay because the original runner bailed and I had to run while holding up my ponytail as my hairband got loose and I couldn't tie it back with the baton in my hand and apparently most of the school witnessed it but it's allinthepastnowletsmoveon)

*Sigh* I need to stop focusing on what could/should/would have been. I also need to stop the comparisons. I've wondered at the way I think about wanting to go back to high school, with my boredom reaching the brink of restlessness. I yearn to have that stress whenever exams edged near and scream 'aaahhh exams!!!' out loud like I used to do. Maybe I'll regret saying this someday but for now it seems much less frustrating than filling out scholarship applications. Ironically my younger sister seemed to want more of my so-called freedom than handling all the stress of Form 1. Yes, Form 1, can you believe it? But I suppose different people have different worries anyways so I should probably stop looking over to the other side where the grass is always greener and instead focus on how to cultivate some rice here in my yellowing paddy field.